


And so she waits...

by channary_kyder



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, Inspired by Fanart, Nonbinary Adora (She-Ra), blondie goes by they/them and we love that in this household, camelot AU, fuck the war and let the lesbians be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:55:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29973549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/channary_kyder/pseuds/channary_kyder
Summary: "I love you so much" Adora had whispered in her ear, their pink lips brushing against her skin as they did so, sending a shiver down her spine.She wanted to answer, but her lover silenced her."Don't say anything yet, save it for the day I return to you, my queen" they had told her, kissing her cheek gently before getting on their steed and leaving with the troops, far, far away from her.That would be the last time she would see her king.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	And so she waits...

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this is my first attempt at writing something for the She-Ra fandom and actually post it :D 
> 
> This was inspired by the beautiful fanart made by @aoiveaeart on Twitter, the entire AU is theirs and is truly amazing, whoever reads this should really check it sometime (to understand a little more of its plot too).
> 
> I would also like to apologize for any typo, english is not my first language. 
> 
> That being said, hope you enjoy<3

Sitting on her throne, Catra has time to think about many things, silently pondering now that she is alone.

She thinks about her life, about the things that she has done, those that she still has to do; the moments that filled her with happiness, the moments that killed her in sadness; the millions of things she regrets, the millions of things she wouldn't change for anything in this world, but, above all the crazy stuff that goes through her mind, she thinks about them, her Adora, who is so far away, maybe never coming back to her.

She regrets —believe her— so many things when it comes to her king. The yelling, the anger, the pain, everything she put the blonde through to finally let them in, nothing was ever worth it. God knows how much she regrets not letting her guard down before and allow herself to love. If she had fallen in love before, they would have had more time. All the time in the world, even. If she had loved them before, they would've never left.

She cannot deny that they had happy moments, she is not a liar. She loved those little moments of their days that they could spend together, in a little world that they had created to share with each other, without being bothered by such small things as a silly aristocrat complaining because they didn't attend to their first royal banquet or something similar.

One of the last moments they spent together was in the palace's gardens, hidden in the bushes so the royal advisers couldn't find them. Adora sitting between her legs, their strong back pressed against her chest, she was playing with their hair, delicately braiding it and putting small pink flowers on those golden strands; the powerful sword —stupid, in Catra's humble opinion— lay behind them, completely forgotten. Her spouse spent the entire afternoon telling her stories of their many travels, laughing at their own silly jokes that they loved so much. Catra just looked at them with a soft smile on her face, feeling that warmth in her chest that appeared every time they were together.

Those were the moments she wished she could freeze in time, stay trapped in that peace, where she could've made her king stay by her side forever. It was one of those moments when she wishes she had reciprocated their feelings the way she should.

Adora had never been shy about their feelings, they had actually told her without a problem, they had expressed how much they loved her, for a long time. They told her about their wishes of marrying her again, in private, just the two of them and now because of love, not for a problem between their kingdoms or convenience, they had even expressed how much they wanted to start a family in the future, maybe two or three little ones, maybe more. Whatever happened, Catra knew that Adora wanted her to be part of it, yet she didn't say anything.

Yes, she made it clear that she loved them too, but she never said it, she just kissed them one, two, three, several times until her king stared at her with a goofy smile, and she really believed that it had been enough, she never thought that maybe Adora needed to hear it from her rather than feel it in her actions to believe her.

So she remained quiet, and why? Because of a foolish fear of it not being real? Because she thought she did not deserve love? Those excuses and fears sound so stupid today that time seems to be running out.

Thinking about them now hurts her soul, burns her heart, and spreads a feeling of infinite bitter melancholy through every part of her body, it consumes her, drowns her, traps her to never let her go.

It's stupid how much it hurts to remember their beautiful blue eyes that, without realizing it, began to look at her with tenderness, she loved how they always seemed to change to a weird grayish color, although the king denied it all the time. It hurts her to think about the silly laughs the blonde reserved just for her, when they joked about whatever, making fun of a royal or just complaining about something, always hidden somewhere in the palace. It hurts her to think of how their strong arms gave her a feeling of protection that she had never felt with anyone, enveloping her and giving her peace, even when it seemed that her world was going to shatter. It hurts her to know that she never had a love like this and that maybe it won't happen again.

"I love you so much" Adora had whispered in her ear, their pink lips brushing against her skin as they did so, sending a shiver down her spine.

She wanted to answer, but her lover silenced her.

"Don't say anything yet, save it for the day I return to you, my queen" they had told her, kissing her cheek gently before getting on their steed and leaving with the troops, far, far away from her.

That would be the last time she would see her king.

If Catra had known that the war would get worse with each passing day, if she hadn't been so confident and had known that she would live with the uncertainty of whether her king would return or not, she would have shouted those words at the top of her lungs, she would have sobbed them, she would have cried herself out of breath, but she didn't, she was silent as she watched her lover get away from their home, she was a coward, and now she has nothing left to fight for.

She is alone in her kingdom now, on a throne that is not completely hers, feeling empty, not knowing how to be the queen her people deserve, missing her love, crying for them every night, keeping a stoic gaze when her subjects are close so they don't get even more scared of the war.

What a mess her life has become in such a short time.

And all she has left to do is desperately beg every night to every hero she can remember, to every god, to every ancestor of hers that, please, protect and let her love come back to her, safe and sound. She only asks for a second chance to do things right, to be able to love them as they deserve.

And so she waits, and she reigns, and she cries, and she screams, and she waits again, until the day she can say those words that didn't have time to escape her lips.

"I love you too, I always have."

**Author's Note:**

> Camelot AU Fanart:  
> https://twitter.com/aoiveaeart/status/1369092098129989638
> 
> My Twitter (reactivated after months and literally with nothing on it):  
> https://twitter.com/channarykyder
> 
> Any comments and feedback are appreciated!


End file.
